This week of Thanksgiving is a good time to reflect on what we’re grateful for. But gratitude is something we should be practicing all year. Instead of “keep the spirit of Christmas in your hearts all year long”, maybe the saying should be “keep gratitude in your hearts all year long.”
In this age of steady information on social media about your friends’ vacations and constant advertising for the latest new gizmos, it’s easy to focus on the things you feel you’re missing out on. But for your mental and financial health, a focus on working toward your goals and all the good things you already have would be better.
In The Paradox of Choice, by Barry Schwartz, Dr. Schwartz talked about how rising incomes in the US have had little impact on our individual happiness. The reason is two-fold. Reason one is that we tend to adapt to new situations quickly. While buying something new gives us a dose of pleasure, we quickly come to take our new thing for granted.
The second reason is that our expectations rise. We have an idea of how someone in our income bracket should be living. We see how our Facebook friends and colleagues are living and believe we should have the same lifestyle.
Unfortunately, the lifestyle we think we should have may be based on inaccurate information. After all, we really don’t know much about anyone’s financial situation but our own, and assuming we should be living like someone else doesn’t factor in how that other person is making ends meet or whether they have the same financial goals.
If instead you focus your attention on meeting your own goals and appreciating what you already have, you can derive pleasure from your achievements and knowing how fortunate you are.
In the words of DavidSteindl-Rast, “Happiness doesn’t make us grateful. Gratitude makes us happy.”
The next time you pull on an old sweater, think of all the fun times you had while wearing it. Or when you sit in your car, think of all the trips you’ve taken in it, or the songs you sang with your kids in it. When you see your friend’s exotic vacation photos on Instagram, be happy for them, and remember all the things you loved about the last trip you took.
It’s human nature to seek out new things and to compare ourselves to those around us. Our culture seems to have let these instincts run amok. It’s easy to get caught up in the chase for more material possessions and ever escalating lifestyles. But if you pause for a moment, once in a while, and think about how good your life already is, you may find that you have all that you need, and for this you can be grateful.