So you’ve found your perfect match. He’s funny, kind and hard-working. You love doing the same things, especially together. But after finishing grad school, he has a mountain of student loan debt. Is he still the one?

These days 17 percent of student borrowers have more than $50,000 in debt. That debt load comes with repercussions. The payments will crowd out the other uses for your money, and the financial strain could lead to relationship strain.

Using a standard ten year repayment plan, monthly payments will be over $500 per month on a balance of $50,000. That is a big bite out of anyone’s salary. However, most who have that level of debt choose an extended repayment plan to lower the payments. Using a 25 year repayment schedule, the payment will decline to $331 per month.

In ten years, 65 percent of the loan will still be outstanding, and by the time the loan is fully repaid you will have paid interest equal to the amount of the loan. So for a $50,000 loan, $50,000 in interest will also be paid.

Generally those with graduate degrees have higher paying jobs, making it easier to handle the burden of the payment. But it’s not always the case. Now more and more, undergraduates are leaving school with high debt balances without the higher professional salaries.

The payments and the length of time they hang around will make reaching your other goals more challenging. The loan payments will reduce the amount you can afford to spend on housing, daycare, vacations and more. They will make it more difficult to save for retirement and college for your own kids. You will need to have a larger emergency fund to cover the debt payments, and it could be harder to qualify for a mortgage.

It’s no wonder that a significant number said they wouldn’t marry someone until their debt was paid off. If your partner-to-be has significant debt, you need to go into the marriage with your eyes wide open. Here are a few tips to make sure your relationship can handle the extra burden.

1. Openly discuss the debt.
2. Understand that as a couple you will be paying off the loan together. If your partner has to give up something to pay off the debt, you’ll be giving it up too. For example, if he puts less into retirement savings, you’ll both have less to retire on.
3. Agree on how you will adjust your lifestyle to fit in paying off the debt and meeting your other financial goals.
4. Pay down the debt as quickly as you can. Avoid repayment plans that allow you to pay less than the interest owed even if you qualify for them. If you pay less than the interest owed, your loan balance will grow every month. You are essentially borrowing more with every payment.

Debt can put a strain on any relationship. If you are diving into a new one with debt hanging over your heads, know what you are in for. Don’t believe the debt is your partner’s problem. It’s yours too if you go forward. But if you work together, you can still accomplish your financial goals.